Twitter is more than a social media app. It’s a mirror.

Tweets often say more about their writers than their intended message. Maybe the tweeters were intending to be funny or were victims of overactive spell-check.

Here are actual tweets, culled from various sources. Some include responses, others need none. Feel free to provide your own face-plants.

“Just made me some synonym rolls!”

“Just like grammar used to make?”

“I hate grapes. They discuss me.”

“What they be sayin’?”

“There’s no ‘i’ in happyness.

“My sister is pregnant. Can’t wait to see if I’ll be an aunt or an uncle!”

“Every second someone dies. Every second someone is born. So why isn’t our population zero?”

“Why is there a birthday candle for zero? Nobody turns zero years old.”

“Goodbye America, hello New York!”

“New York is still in America.”

“Have you never taken a geology test? I think I would know.”

“How did Beyonce go No. 1 in 100 countries when there’s only 7? Africa, Europe, Asia, and I can’t remember the rest.”

“What apps have y’all bought that are worth the money?”

“Mozzarella sticks for sure. And spinach artichoke dip is a classic.”

“Just finished sanding my tires so my car will ride smoother on the interstate.”

“That’s a smooth way to meet God.”

“People should really respect top-level endurance runners more. They have poured butt sweat and tears into their work.”

“People are (bleep) idiots. My neighbor kid just tried to tell me that bats are mammals. Mammals don’t fly, we walk and are confined to the ground. No wonder my family in Sweden thinks Americans are dumb. Y’all truly need to educate your kids better. Bats are birds.”

“If you don’t know the difference between ‘there,’ ‘their’ and ‘they’re,’ your an idiot.”

“Someone needs to invent socks for our hands, my hands are always cold.”

“We have something called gloves.”

“No, stupid, like socks for our hands.”

“I have two sides. The nicest you’ll ever meet and twisted cycle path.”

“I’m officially coma toast. The stress of my job has killed me.”

“At the end of the day we are all human beans.”

“And together we will rice.”

“You just need to say good writtens to the fake people in your life.”

“Atlanta spelled backwards is Atlanta.”

“If I can’t have an enter lectual conversation with a girl then she’s clearly not the one.”

“I want my first daughter to be a girl.”

“Does it take 18 months for twins to be born?”

“Lotto jackpot = $640 million. Population of the U.S. = 300 million. Let’s just give everyone $2.13 million and call it a day!”

“What does a quarter till 4 mean? Cause a quarter is worth 25 cents, so why is it 15 minutes?”

“I’m so lost! Isn’t NFL just for the U.S.? How does New England have a team??????”

Louie@coastsidenewsgroup.com asks, “Magic mirror in my hand, who’s the dumbest in the land?”

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