We have completed our annual ode to gridlock known as the Half Moon Bay Art and Pumpkin Festival. The thoughts of the young and young-at-heart now turn to October’s Big Day.

The Eve of All Hallows, a prelude to All Saints and All Souls Days and Día de los Muertos, is mostly celebrated as a junior cos-play event, with a touch of pretend extortion mixed in for fun and candy.

There is an overlooked day between the Pumpkin Fest and Halloween. This year there are several “National” days conjoining today, Oct. 23, 2019. Some profound, others not so much:

Happy Unity Day! The National Bullying Prevention Center created Unity Day to promote individual education plans for children with physical or learning disabilities, which often subject them to cruelty. Unity Day has become a movement to combat all bullying. We are encouraged to wear something orange (an easy task for San Francisco Giants fans, even in an “off” year).

Boston Cream Pie Day. Maybe a few drops of orange food coloring in the cream layer would be appropriate today.

iPod Day. Today is the 18th anniversary of Steve Jobs’ introduction of the magic music machine, beginning an annual rite of announcing “i”ncredible tech wonders.

Lung Health Day. Breathing is among my favorite activities. It’s inspiring, actually. We often take our lungs for granted until bronchitis or something more serious takes our breath away. Be kind to your lungs today.

Canning Day. Today we honor all those who preserve fruits, vegetables, and other gifts of the season in Mason jars, safely sealed for use in dreary December.

Mole Day. No, this isn’t about lawn-destroying rodents or “beauty” marks. It is the autumnal equivalent of spring’s “Pi Day,” March 14. (Pi begins with 3.14, but somewhat irrationally continues with digits without end.) People nerd-out over both dates. Mole Day, Oct. 23, celebrates — if that’s the right word — Avogadro’s Number*, represented as 6.022 X 1023. (Get it, 10-23?) It is one “mole,” as 12 eggs are one “dozen.” At this point we nerds and geeks snort and make Three Stooges noises, such as “Nyuck, nyuck!” (We’re so lonely.) Oh, and the 6.022 refers to the time: Mole Day starts at 6:02 a.m. and ends at 6:02 p.m., hardly a “day,” in my book.

Slap Your Irritating Coworker Day. Quip Tide does not condone slapping co-workers, as tempting as it may be. Maybe a Boston Cream Pie in the face would be OK on Oct. 23, but nothing more violent.

* For those still awake after reading about Mole Day, let me clarify that the mass of a substance is the amount of matter in it. Mass doesn’t change: a “pound” of sugar on Earth would weigh much less on the moon, but its mass would be the same. One mole of anything is 6.022 X 1023 atoms or molecules, regardless of the substance, its volume, or weight. 

louie@hmbreview.com doesn’t think this column is bullying, only annoying.

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