Try reading aloud the following story, just for fun:
Megan was a pagan, as were most of the people in her town. “Megan,” said her friend, Reagan, “would you like to go get a burger?” “No, thanks, Reagan,” said Megan the pagan. “I’m a vegan.”
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“Forgive me if I seem evasive,” she replied. “I’ve seen the dive where you live, and even with the olive honey you strive to derive from active bees in the hive. I’d rather plant cabbage or have a massage than drive to see the garbage in your garage. Besides,” said the young maid, “your patio is too small for your home. Why would I come to a home to see some gnome at the home with the low patio ratio?”
Reagan felt blue, through and through. Though it was tough, but true, he knew that the two would not do what he would pursue. He was fond of the maid, her blonde braid an aid to her plaid brocade, but her façade portrayed no shade of interest. He said, “Shall we all walk instead? We’ll tread where you lead.” She agreed, and the boy and the maid trod down a trail through the glade.
Then the pair stopped. What had they heard? Did the pair hear a bear or had they heard a bird? Then they thought it absurd that a bear could have stood in the wood and would not have been seen in the scene.
By a willow, a cow lowed at a passing plow. “I’ll allow,” said Megan the pagan vegan, “that the cow’s low is more soothing than a plow’s engine, a sow’s grunt, or cat’s meow. How can you chow down on a cow when you know now that its low is melodious?”
“Whoa,” exclaimed Reagan the pagan. “I’m not vegan! But I’d vow to bow to your chow Tao if thou wouldst let me be thy beau.”
“My beau? Thou? Oh, let’s go slow, Bro’, or we’ll have woe.”
Apropos, he then stubbed his toe and yelled, “Ow, ow!”
“I see that your toe is in woe ‘cause your shoe didn’t do what a shoe should do. Is it so?”
“Yes,” said he, “I see that my plea to thee in this area, which I’d make on one knee, will never be.”
Megan and Reagan strolled past a foal, their goal to console poor Reagan’s hurt soul.
“You know,” said she, “this column wouldn’t work in Spanish.”
Louie@hmbreview is still working on English as a first language.
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