They are raising their children the same way. And no one in their families thinks that is unusual.
To many Mexicans, death is part of life, Jimenez explained. "Even though you lose someone, we still remember them," he said. "We have a special day, Nov. 2."
 Joaquin Jiminez and his son, Joaquin Jr., of Half Moon Bay, look over the offerings at their Day of the Dead alter. |
Years ago, as children, they would visit ancestors' gravesites with their families, to tidy the graves, clear overgrown brush, give the tombstones fresh coats of paint, and pray for the departed.
Families would bring flowers and candles to the graveyards, to honor the dead and to give light and pleasant scents by which the souls could find their way back to visit loved ones still living.
Ruiz recalls her mother telling her that "the dead come at night to eat the fruit and smell the flowers."
No one thought of it as "haunting."
"It's more like a night visit," said Jimenez.
This year, both are including their kids in planning the ofrendas - or offerings - with photos, fruit and flowers.
Jimenez says his 5-year-old daughter doesn't yet fully understand the day, but his 11-year-old son recognizes the photos and listens to stories of why his parents are setting out a deceased relative's favorite meal.
Ruiz says that her son, 13, and her daughter, 7, have come to her with urgent reminders: "They say, 'The Day of the Dead is coming. Grandfather is going to visit. We should put out candles and fruit'" and beer for an uncle who liked it.
This year, Jimenez says his ofrenda will have photos of Pancho Villa, Frida Kahlo and Emilio Zapata, to "honor them for what they did for our culture."
Ruiz observes Nov. 1, All Saints Day, when she says angels come with the spirit of a baby sister who died at 4, and Nov. 2, when her grandparents' spirits will visit.
And her offerings will have extra fruit, per her mother's instructions. "She told me I should put out fruit because dead people will come, even people who used to live where we live now," she said.
While they took those childhood memories to heart, Jimenez and Ruiz admit the Day of the Dead is now tempered.
Jimenez says that in cities, one sees ofrendas in stores or the Latino museum in San Francisco, due to social changes. "It's not fading, but some people take Halloween because of their children."
Ruiz blames the lack of proximity to cemeteries. "People here are not too interested in remembering the dead people, I think," she said. "It's sad because it's nice to remember people and pray for them."
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