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| When grandparents are caregivers By Jeannine Clark--Q. & A. Published/Last Modified on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 2:51 PM PST Q: My husband and I are in our late 60s and we have recently found ourselves the main caregivers of our two grandchildren, ages 8 and 10. It's a sad situation as to how we came to be in this role, but, here we are, and my husband and I are not sure what to do. Have you run into this type of situation much? Are there very many people our age who are finding themselves parents again? A: The answer to your question is a resounding yes. Yes, I have had clients who are the main caregivers for their grandchildren, and yes, this type of family system is on the rise. Over the past 25 years, the number of children being raised by someone other than a parent has dramatically increased, with the majority of these children being raised by their grandparents. According to the U.S. Bureau of the Census, the number of grandparent-headed households increased by 53 percent between 1990 and 1998, with the rise continuing. It has been reported that about 1 in 20 children under the age of 18 are living in homes headed by their grandparents. Why are grandparent households on the rise? Well, for one thing, we are starting to see the results of the gradual breakdown over the years of our family systems. With the increased divorce rate, the increase of one-parent households, and the need for both parents to work full-time, families are once again finding themselves needing one another in order to survive. Historically, grandparents have often helped raise their grandchildren during times of family crisis, but today, the proportion of families in crisis is on the upswing. In addition, the economy in the past several years has forced more and more families to struggle to make ends meet. Many people are still unable to find employment, after having been laid off - and many of these people have been without work for almost two years. All of these factors mean that grandparents (like yourself) are finding themselves with a full nest again. But there may be a bright side to all of this. Many grandparents who are raising a second family are discovering, and sometimes rediscovering, some wonderful things about themselves and their family; many grandparents in your position are reporting a greater sense of purpose in their own lives. In addition, because of this growing segment of the population, some great resources have emerged, and there are some strong lobbyists out their helping to secure benefits and assistance for this growing group. Although I am not sure how complicated your situation is, it probably wouldn't hurt to discuss your situation with a third party. The third party could be an attorney, a friend, a minister, or a social worker through your local Department of Social Services, or a social worker familiar with Senior Resources. Another avenue is, of course, the Internet. The AARP has a whole section on grandparents raising grandchildren and where to find help on its web site (www.aarp.org/grandparents). Another organization that is on the forefront of this subject is Generations United (www.gu.org). And one final web site I want to mention is Grand Parent Again (www.grandparentagain.com). This site offers information about education, legal support, support groups, and other organizations for grandparents raising grandchildren. One of the main problems reported by grandparents in your similar situation is one of isolation. If there is one thing you take away from this article, know that you are not alone in your situation. Seek out assistance and support, and you, and your second family, should do just fine. Jeannine Clark is a Pescadero resident, medical social worker and private geriatric care manager with Clark Consulting. She writes a bi-monthly column for the Review on topics relating to life transitions and aging. Send questions to Clark Consulting, P.O. Box 101, Pescadero, CA 94060, or email to: clark@southcoast.net. |